Combined Price $57.69; Club Member Price $47.69

You gotta start off each day with a song ...and a great cup of coffee - all in one!

My Sharia Amour

I glanced at my watch. “For crying out loud, when are they going to raise the curtain?
“They have raised the curtain,” said David Hasselhoff. “Those are the girls.”
I peered closer at the shapeless line of cloth, and he was right: there they all were, from Miss Afghanistan to Miss Zionist Entity.I sighed. “How long till the swimsuit round?”
is the swimsuit round,” said David.

Remember the Miss World riots in Nigeria? Mark's satire on the new culturally sensitive international beauty contest was a big hit with readers and remains one of his most requested columns - especially his parody lyric for "My Sharia Amour". If you were at Steynapalooza Night in London, Ontario last year, you won't forget his live stage performance of the song, complete with bonus encore choruses. Now you too can sing along every morning, with all the words emblazoned on our cool, extra-culturally sensitive coffee mug. If we've got to have an unending jihad stretching into the next century, we might as well have a laugh along the way - and this song will have you chuckling over every breakfast.

For this holiday season (Xmas or Eid, according to preference), we're offering Mark's My Sharia Amour gift pack - one large mug, one golf shirt in your size, plus Mark's book Lights Out, which preserves his original "My Sharia Amour" column between hard covers as part of a section on Islam and comedy. And we'll throw in a copy of Mark & Jessica's mini-album of Christmas delights, Gingerbread & Eggnog, featuring swingin' versions of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" and "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" - all that plus one of our exclusive SteynOnline greeting cards, personally signed to your loved one.

When you're ordering, don't forget to include not just your autograph request for the book and card, but also your shirt size - S, M, L, XL.